I can do more science, me…

Seeing as you all (all 2 of you) loved the articles I wrote on the Edna scale and The Theory of Dunkability, I thought it was about time to follow that up with something even more astoundingly ground-breaking. In fact, not only that, but this discovery will probably have significant life-changing implications for entire populations worldwide.

I’m sure you are all aware of the correct way to eat a composite meal (any meal with several distinct components, for example meat and 2 veg, as opposed to something like risotto, or soup, which as everyone knows, isn’t a proper meal.): each forkfull must contain at least a little of each component – including sauce – or at least as many as will reasonably fit on the fork. That’s how everyone eats, right?*


But are you aware of the correct order in which these different elements should be speared with the aforementioned fork? Ah ha!

The basic rule, of course – the obvious one – is to fork them from squishiest to least squishy. I call this the Incremental Forkability Factor. However, although the relative squishiness of some foods is quite obvious, in other cases, it is quite a tricky thing to establish without many a fruitless prod, risking dangerous splatting of gravy or splitting of potatoes.  Therefore, I thought this might be a handy way of working out what to fork first. Feel free to print this out and take it with you when you eat out.

*Does not apply to anything not eaten with a fork, such as asian food, pizza (schematics of correct pizza cutting to follow) and so on.


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