Dear Charles Darwin (2)

Hey, Charles! Charlie boy! Yes, it’s me again, how ya doin’?

Just a thought, if you and the Evolution department guys up there have a spare moment. It’s about the next step for human evolution. Yeah, I know, you guys have been thinking of all kinds of fancy stuff – wings, prehensile tails, telekinesis, all that. But hey, that can wait.

What we could really do with now is much simpler: skin that shows clearly just how utterly horribly ill or in pain we are. A bright blue scalp when we have a splitting headache, a bright green toe when we stub it on the corner of the coffee table, or maybe even a nice Paisley motif across the shoulder blades for a bad back.

Okay, yes, bruises exist, but I never get them. And there is only one thing more annoying than having to put up with the pain and embarrassment of whacking yourself on the corner of your desk: not having a bruise to show for it. Forget rubbing it or getting a magic kiss, the only thing that really makes the pain better is plenty of pity from others. If they can’t see it hurts, you are they supposed to properly appreciate your agony?

Then again, if you’re busy working on a way to upgrade the brains of the world’s politicians, by all means, put my suggestion on the back burner for a month or two. First things first.



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