Conversation with a silly sausage

I had this actual conversation with someone who has asked to remain anonymous, because he’s a little embarrassed about it. I will therefore refer to him as Mr X.

Mrs X (me): so, honey, how was your lunch? (M&S pasta bows with smoked salmon and a creamy cheese sauce.)

Mr X: Ah not bad, I kind of thought there was something missing. You had the same thing, didn’t you think it lacked something? I would have added some cheese on the top…

Me: I took some grated cheese with me, it did help, but it didn’t really need it, it was delicious!

Mr X: Meh, I still say it wasn’t all that great.

Me: Hmm, I dunno, did you stir it half way through?

Mr X: What do you mean? Half way through what?

Me: Well, half way through heating it, once the sauce is nice and warm it mixes in better if you stir it…

Mr X: You’re supposed to heat the sauce?

Me: Uh… No, all of it? When you heat the dish, you stir it half way through, so it cooks better?

Mr X: Whu? I don’t get it… Um… Wasn’t it a salad?

Me: … Mouahahahahhahahahahahaha!

Mr X: What! How was I supposed to know?

Me: Mouahahahahaha! It was, like, written on the packaging at least 4 times!

Mr X: I didn’t read that! I just ripped it open and ate it! It looked like a salad!

Me: Mouahahahahahahahaha! (deep breath) Mouaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!

Mr X: I THOUGHT IT WAS A SALAD!!!!

Me: Mouahahahahahahahahahaha! (Repeat last 2 lines ad infinitum)

I know, I’m a heartless bee-otch, but it was just so funny, I couldn’t help it. I love you, Mr X.

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