Design for life

Why the hell am I the only one watching the new “you’re fired”-type show on BBC2? I mean apart from Husband of course, seeing as we share the same TV. No, really, it seems like not only are people not watching but they don’t even know about it. It’s on after Masterchef, people! Everyone seems to be watching Masterchef, so why not Design for Life?

I genuinely don’t get it, I mean damn, product design may not be the funkiest thing on the planet, but since when was it less cool than bloody ballroom dancing?!! Or marketing? Or cooking? Or fashion design? (Ok, I’ll give you fashion design.) No, really, it’s cool and it’s interesting, so why aren’t people watching?

What’s more, location-wise, they’re in Paris. Paris! Not some manky penthouse in Notting Hill or a soulless apartment in New York, but funky, exotic, cliche-filled, postcard-perfect Paris, France! (I have to confess I hate the place myself, but that’s only because I’ve actually been there.) Come on people, you know that’s what you want…

As for the personality presenting it, forget old sausage-fingers-Srallan, boringly-always-pregnant Heidi Klum and eternally-preserved Bruce Formaldehyde, Philippe Starck is INSANE. Clinically. Starck raving bonkers. What’s more, he’s French, so you can’t understand half of what he’s saying. And the other half makes no sense! Seriously, we watch the thing with subtitles, and we both speak French, and we still don’t get half of it. Also, Starck is a bit of a jerk, so you instantly want to punch him with a lemon juicer. Surely that’s a must-have for any half-decent reality TV show?

So, Starck really pisses me off. But I still watch it. Why? Because unlike ballroom dancing, cooking or modelling, object design is something I actually know a bit about. Been there, done that, passed the exam. So I can actually sit there and legitimately pick holes in the students’ projects, call them idiots, and think of far better ideas, then gloat when Starck bullies them and calls them “little lazys”. I can scoff when they complain about only having a week to come up with an idea. I can mock them when they get their technical drawings all wrong, and have to stay up half the night redoing them. Because I’ve done all that and more. And I was only 15-18 at the time. Hah! And we didn’t even have computers, or the Internet, no siree, we had to do all our stuff by hand!

Ah, the good old days…

Anyhoo, the series is nearly over now, they’re down to the final two, so it’s a bit late to start watching it now. I hope you’re properly ashamed of yourself. But if by some miracle there’s a second season, watch it. I might just enter the next one myself, in fact, all the other students so far have been bloody hopeless…

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