As Roy of the IT crowd said so well: The Oyrish? They’re insaaane. They do mad stuff. Nah, really, they do. Like picking up a perfectly normal football in the middle of a game and chucking it about with their hands. And then they try to get away with it by calling it Gaelic Football. As if giving it a name made it ok… See? Insane, I tells ya*.
This strange sport is widely regarded as normal by the rest of the country (even though of course, it quite plainly isn’t…). However, there are some things about Irish behaviour, it would seem, that even the Irish don’t understand. That’s just how completely insane they are.
Since my commuting route changed, due to the Malahide Incident, the replacement coaches have taken us through parts of Dublin that I had not yet discovered. And as I sat in the endless morning traffic, I began to notice a strange phenomenon: in the windows of many houses, there was a statue of a white lady. Not a religious statue, unless we’re maybe talking Ancient Roman goddess of Scantilyclad-Drapeyness. No, what would have been a fairly ordinary albeit mildly tacky decorative plaster statue, if it hadn’t been for its repetitiveness.
In fact, the strangeness of this is not just that many houses in the same areas have this statue in their windows (and they are always positioned on display in the windows) but that if a house has them, chances are it will have one in every window of the house!
So I tried googling them. I mean, if the Internets don’t know, who does? Well, nobody, it seems. Although there are random conspiracy theories around them indicating brothels or drug dealers, the type of houses that tend to favour them hardly seem the type. Swingers? Well, if they are, there sure are a lot of them in some areas! It seems the most plausible theory so far is that they were sold en masse by a door-to-door salesman at some point, which explains their distribution, and that they are also available in cheap deco shops around the city. So basically, it’s just a product of hard selling and bad taste?
Whatever they are, they sure are still mystifying the population of Dublin: I’ll spare you the endless pages of message boards debating the subject, of which there are many, but here is a video with a few examples of the “lady of the northside”, and someone has also made a Google Map recording the locations of the statues (did anyone say “too much spare time”?).
Maybe someone should just go knock on the door of one of the houses hit by white lady mania, and ask. But then we’d know for sure, and where would be the fun in that?
*But we loves them all the same, don’t we. Yes, yes we do.