The tale of the cormorant

A lonely cormorant* sat on the end of the Big Floaty Thing, his wings outstretched, as the water dripped slowly from his sodden feathers.

A couple of gulls paddled past him, and the younger of the two asked his friend: “What is he doing that for?”

“Ah,” said the other gull, who was a bit of a mean old know it all, “he’s a cormorant, see. Water bird, feeds on fish, webbed feet n’all, like us gulls. Except they’s ain’t waterproof, so they has to spend hours sitting like that to dry off. Bit daft, that, innit!”

And with a snarky little laugh, the gull ruffled his feathers, showering the poor cormorant with droplets, and they paddled away**.

The cormorant, whose name was Ken, was already having a bloody lousy day as it was, and could quite frankly have done without being reminded of his infirmity.

He hung his head, stretched his wings out wider, and muttered to himself: “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.”


Intelligent design is a concept that has been common to many beliefs and religions throughout the ages. It is at the very heart of the currently very controversial Creationism/evolution debate. I fail to see why the 2 can’t be compatible, something can be created and then evolve on its own, it can even be given a little help along the way, it’ll still be evolving.

Anyhoo. The cormorant. In this one bird, we have living, undeniable proof of intelligent design. Well. That’s intelligent as in sentient, not necessarily as in “smart”. How so? Because, as the saying should go, “to err is human, but to really cock things up proper, there’s nothing like an omnipotent deity”.

He/she/it was probably a little drunk at the time, or maybe a little hung over. You know the kind of work you do on a hangover morning at the office, right? Yup. Cormorants.

*Cormorants, otherwise known as shags. Proof that not only did they have a creator, but he was male. I’m almost surprised they don’t have a feather pattern in the shape of a big cock-n-balls.

**The second moral of this story is that gulls are bastards.

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